i think i've only one nerve left, don't get on it!

I cannot take my boss micro-managing me. He will email, text and call to get something done. I know what urgent means, just chillax and shake your balls for a minute, will ya?

This crazy lil thing called nerve is like a motion sensor bulb, you know. If you rapidly agitate it, it will induce a wavelength that will increase the body temperature. I hate being garang (trivia: I may look garang/sombong, I am actually very der shy-shy cat. At least it's better than having an amiable facade to camouflage your true ugly side, innit?). I digress. I know he's my boss, boss bosses people around, but takde ke cara lebih bijak than micro-managing people? He's seriously putting his 1st class MBA honours to shame.

When he's constantly breathing down my neck, what other choice do I have but to do the same thing to my anak buah? It's a domino effect. I'm sure they all hate me by now.:(

One fine day, if you come across a news about a woman trashing her office, tearing down whatever within reach, throwing tables and chairs around, yelling at her officemates, jumping on the printer and fax machines, running around screaming and crying with her hair wild up, running into anything and everything in her path and finally into the glass wall before diving head-first from her fifth floor office? It's gotta be me.

i think sun and heat are only meant to be on sea and sand

The heatwave is taking its toll on me. It warps me crazy. The hormones, on the other hand, had turned me into an unfriendly, grumpy old bitch. Ulcers were popping out in my mouth like gangrene and it was so bad, I had to take painkillers. And my house is a shipwreck now as weekends are spent hibernating in bed. Oh El Nino, if only your climate is as nice as your name..

Anyways, here's a joke a favorite of mine (I'm not humorous, most likely you'll hear it coming from me again and again whenever I lament about the weather) is "Oh my gawd, Malaysia is so freakin' hot. Masa kat Africa dulu tak panas macam ni pun!". I'm so funny, I know.

i think i am content

The holiday, the much needed break, was truly awesome. Will blog more about it later.
Gosh, I am so overwhelmed with the post-holiday blues already!

sunset @Patong Beach

i think i'll see you later with one or two shades darker

Sunblock? Check.
Skimpy tops? Check.
Colorful sundress? Check.
Beach shorts? Check.
Bikini? Check.
Sunglasses? Check.
iPod? Check.
Camera? Check.
Thai Bahts$? Check.
Turn on out-of-office assistant? Check.

i think i need to twitter 'my life is not a job' cause this job the colleague is driving me crazy!

1. It's 3 hours to 7, I've decided not to sleep for fear of failing to wake up later because I'm a sleeping beauty who needs undisturbed 6 hours of beauty sleep and kalau dah tidur pukul 4 pagi, jangan harap lah nak bangun pukul 7 kan..

2. I am stressed out. Burnt out. I am underpaid and overworked. LOL :P On a serious note, I feel like leaving this job. I hate my boss and his blue-eyed boy the butt-kisser who sticks to him like a dick wart. I'm gonna hold them responsible for deteriorating my performance. I mean, if the boss is not too busy memeram telur and at least do some of his work and not too delegate too much of powerpoint job and the butt-kisser is not too busy butt-kissing and not nosing about everybody else's business, I could've remained as happy as I used to be. Office politics suck. I love doing projects but I loathe doing reports and foils and the whole aftermath. Most of the time I feel that I am not a real engineer. Ai yemm a powwarpoint slides engineer yang koje dok buat presentation slides sajork. Gahhh.

3. I love to whine about my job. I can go on and on about it for hours and bore you to death. Don't take me seriously when I am at it because chillax, my life is not a job!

4. For everything I do, I am literally updating 'my status' a la Facebook in my head. I gotta admit that my brain suffers from a syndrome of (in the words of the coolest Makji) 'Status Update anxiety'; quote where we all trying to outdo each other in posting the most intriguing or attention-seeking updates we can think of, or recording every tiny detail of our everyday lives unquote. Like, when I am hungry, "Tiena is hungry" and "Tiena is craving for more Krispy Creme glazed donuts". Or "Tiena is going to London in August, thanx AirAsia!" when I am feeling happy. Or "Tiena is checking out Facebook on her Blackberry" whenever I'm feeling geeky. A sign that my life revolves around Facebook? Memang tak la. I hate everything about Facebook and its applications (I used to love Mousehunts, but they bore me now). I hardly update my account, and plus, who gives a flying fock about what you're doing I do, right?

4. I want a customized walk-in wardrobe but damn they're damn expensive! My trust fund is zeroed out and I maxed out my cards. Hello Datuk, boleh sponsor tak? *winks, twirls hair, leans forward, flaunts cleavage*

5. I think I have a mild OCD. No, not the germophobic kinda OCD, though I do feel geli sometimes when I shake people's hands or somebody use my mouse or I have to use their mouse. I am skeptical of toilet tabs and door knobs and I hate it when people cough and not covering their mouths fully. But like I said, I am not the extreme germophobe nut job, I am just particular about certain things.

6. Did you notice that the word 'babi' is no longer a taboo? Did Dewan Bahasa deleted the word 'khinzir' from the grand dictionary? Because the media seems no longer ashamed of the word and they now talk babi this, babi that unabashedly.

7. I am very thankful that I was already back in my motherland from the pigsty island when the whole babi flu pandemic breaks out there and in the other part of the world. Heard from the news that they had to quarrantine a hotel even. HKG sucks btw, except for the weather. (I am bitter because I still can't get over the fact that a cap ayam brand handbag at a flea market costs around HKD400, habis tawar dapat HKD200=MYR100, apakah? Baik beli kat Sg. Wang je..)

i think my life is not a job!

A pictorial guide on How To Survive The Office 101:

1. Lots of pens in multicolor. Pens are mostly pakai-buang (read: colleagues will borrow your pen and most likely not to return and you'd have the tendency to misplace them on a daily basis)

2. Good coffee to keep you sane from the office hullabaloo. Enough said.

3. Sauce and ketchup. Optional, come in handy when the McDelivery forgot to give you extra ketchup.

4. Earphones/headphones. Fucking important! Shuts you out when your colleague who sits near you have gas issues and disgusts the hell out of you with the burping. Earphones/headphones on is a universal sign of "Do Not Disturb" when you feel like dissociating yourself.

4. Side/rearview mirrors. One of the shortcomings of being human is we don't have another pair of eyes at the back of your head. You views are confined to a strict 180 degrees. Side/rearview mirrors helps you to tell that your boss is approaching so quickly hide that YouTube/blog/non work related window! You can use real mirrors, or in this case, a slice of wafer fab (silicon, not the edible wafer) or anything that reflects.

5. Spotted: used rubber on the floor. Maintain your calm. A common sight, mildly culture-shocking for newbies.

i think there's a piece of Pirah Zad0ra in each and everyone of us..

I recently got in touch with a former school mate, F. Not just another schoolmate, she was one of the girls in my click. She lives 500m away from the school, so we always crashed her house for free lunch before the afternoon extra-curricular classes. I was connected to her in more ways than the others (ie we are were BFFs, her sister was my sister's BFF, her nanny was my cousin's step-aunt), so we were quite close; me and her. To the extend of carving each other's names on a wooden keychain saying we love each other, sharing a pet sister and me backing off when she got a crush on my secret crush (I was crushed, of course, but I was a BFF mithali yo). Hahha!

So yeah, we got back in touch and started chatting in YM. Apparently she is now a CEO of her own company with 5 subsidiaries. Hamboi, dasyat! Happy to hear that she's doing well, but I felt odd, because I was asking her what's the nature of their business and dengan pantas she said "XX Holdings ada 5 anak syarikat!". And then she was like, where do you work, which company, come work with me lah? Like, mowtif?? Not a good way to start a conversation especially when you have been out of contact for years, right?

And then another BFF who's still my BFF forwarded me F's blog address. I know a blog is what a blog is - a universe that revolves around your narcissist, exhibitionist self.. But this girl has changed 180deg from her old self! People change, so what eh?

Well, after the YM conversations and now having read the blog, I just couldn't help but to leave a comment (with my own google account of course, because her blog doesn't permit anonymouses) when she went on and on and on again about 'fans' who 'duplicated' her layout. Haiyo motif diva sangat kan? Famous bak Pirah Zadora kah kau? I mean, those layouts are free on the net and anyone can copied them into their layout template. So I told her that if she coded her own design, she absolutely got the right to be pissed.

My critism got me throned as a fungus and a fly. I don't blame her for that. I'd retaliate the same way if I were her. But a minute later, I'd know that sometimes you need a 'reminder' to keep your feet on the ground. Well, my friend F couldn't handle it though. She threw a hissy and hours later, she privatised her blog. Benci tau! :P

i think i need a map to find a hidden treasure

So many concerts (that's worth going and I want) to go!
- Jason Mraz (Like, 2 hours of orgasm mengalahkan khinzir)
- Oasis (Sila gelak. I grew up to Oasis songs, thanks to my Kaklong)
- Rachael Yamagata (The Goddess. I'm suffocating just by saying her name) *fans self*

So many forced leaves, so many cheap air tickets!
- March: 2 weeks
- April: God knows how many days
- Bali? Nah, overrated.
- Phuket. Bangkok.
- The U.K. (Go there, go home and declare bankruptcy.:P)

So little money. Aiyaiyaaa..! I think I need to grab a shovel and start digging for harta karun Harun now.

Cari harta Karun ke harta Harun? Harun Salim Bachik? :P