i think i am too busy getting OD-ed on coffee and food to deal with other matter

I am significantly losing weight and I'm getting worried. I weigh the same weight of 40 packets of tepung gandum cap sauh stacked together and that's not funny wey..

What's funny is I hadn't been sexercising at all during Ramadhan. And I was pigging out like crazy every other day especially at Ramadhan buffets.

I blame it on work stress, damn. And surbex. Yeah, if you're overweight, worried about getting obese, hardly exercise and can't stop eating but wanna shed off some, maybe you should take surbex supplement on daily basis. I somehow think that that got me thinner as my metabolism sky-rocketed with surbex.

So yeah, I'm declaring a serious mission to gain back all the lost kilos, and the mission starts now. Bring on the open houses, keep it comin'! :P I'm gonna eat eat eat, not exercise till I get fat.

But I miss running on Wednesdays and Saturdays with the boyfriend because hari-hari hujan. Sigh. Rain, rain, go away..

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i think this is a good Raya afterall..;)

Another unexpected call from an unexpected person. Never thought he would call on Raya after what happened between us, after what I did to him..

It was a pleasant surprise nonetheless, well I'm just stating the obvious but yeah, you've never failed to surprise me. Thank YOU, you made my Raya still a meaningful one, eventhough they took stupid circus show off the TV. :P

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i think i am thankful for the opportunity, humbled by the experience

I received an unexpected phone call last Saturday. It was from Diana, one of the kid at an orphanage that I went to couple of weeks back to share some Ramadhan love. She was calling from a relative's phone so I called her back right away.

The call was truly a pleasant surprise. I mean, I remember leaving feeling like a rockstar with the kids swarming around asking for my 'autograph', but I really didn’t expect them to really call..

I have always loved doing charity work. Volunteering to be exact. It's the least I can do since I don't have all the money in the world to contribute. But never before have I volunteered for orphanage or old folks' home because I.. get emotional easily and I can be such a crybaby am not that strong. -_-

The first ten minutes I got there, I was truly awkward - not knowing what to ask and what not to ask when making conversation. I wanted to know their life story but I couldn’t just ask how they lost their parents, or how did they end up there. I was overwhelmed with sympathy and empathy for these kids aged 4 to 12, I had to scoot to a corner and called SalmonKhan telling him that I might humiliate myself for crying for no reason in front of these kids. He told me not to cry and reminded me that the reason I am there is to make them smile. Felt a lot better after the conversation and with that in mind, things got better afterwards.

I got to know Diana and her group of friends while waiting for buka puasa. Most of them still have brothers and sisters and they are all sent to different homes. They said they will be transferred to another orphanage when they reach 13. They asked me about my mom, my dad, my siblings and how I celebrate Raya. They listened to my story enthusiastically and every single time I finish telling them about my mom, my dad, my siblings and the way I usually celebrate Raya, they went "Wah bestnya.." Then they told me how they wished they could celebrate Raya with their own parents, wearing brand new clothes and eating rendang together with their family, ending it with "Best kan, kak?", I swear I could almost see a longing infused with hopes in their eyes. Tell me that isn’t heart breaking and tears inducing..? :(

We were there for iftar and terawih. Probably the only terawih I did this Ramadhan -_- hahaaa. Didn’t eat much during iftar cause all of us were busy attending to the kids. Tiredness and hunger only sunk in on the way home. But the experience made all energy and time worth spending.

Sigh.. At this point of my life, I think I am ready to let go of the material world (read: quit my job) and become a full time volunteer. I am still waiting for the right opportunity. *wink wink nudge nudge at MAC*

Diana

Ummu & Athirah


Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri to you readers.
Maaf Zahir dan Batin. :)

i think all these things happen for a reason

Was calling mom to wish her birthday. Instead of the initial plan to surprise her by calling few hours early, I was surprised to learn an unfortunate news.

We didn't see it coming. Surely it wasn't a birthday present she would ever expected. It breaks my heart to hear mom sobbing on the other side of the line. It kills me for not being there to keep her company during this hard time, for not being able to do anything.

I strongly believe that things happened for a reason. This is a test from Him. Maybe a reminder too, for we have strayed too far. I guess what's important now is for us to stay together.

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa-dosa kami dan kuatkanlah hati kami untuk menempuhi dugaan ini. Selamatkan ahli keluarga kami di dunia dan akhirat. Amin ya Allah.

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i think i am burnt out

I am still seeing some traffic at my old blog, which I have long abandoned since 2008. I wander (sic) why.. I wish I could tell them that they are so two thousand late, I don't have any flaming gossips anymore and that I have moved here for good. But nah.. Oh btw she is back. The shoes addict's back blogging yo, (p/s same URL) hehe.

Anyways my frustration with the boss has escalated to another level. The dispute is growing into a shouting match, in mute. I keep telling myself not to let him ruin my day but I am failing miserably and I'm losing my sanity day after day. My hormones are going haywire too. I am showing an exaggerated symptoms of hormonal imbalance be it time of the month or not. And I'm dead tired. And depressed. And I need a new job. Sigh. Work has been consuming my personal life too. He's also too swarmed with work, we don't spend as much time as we used to. Eventhough we see each other every day, by the time we're together we'd be too tired. Work is draining the life out of us! This sucks wey..

My raya leaves start on the 10th. Yeah, on raya day itself. Thanks to my boss la. I am praying hard the traffic won't be that bad on that raya eve coz if it is, I swear I'm gonna.. *tightened fist* I'm gonna.. I'm gonna cry.:((

*inhales*

Mom's birthday tomorrow. Happy birthday, Mak. I love you so much.

This just hit me. 2-Sept-2006. Crap.

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i think ah, i want sata for berbuka

I love sata. No, not the not-so-funny uncle who made 1/3 of the famous Bujang Lapuk. I'm talking about sata, the grilled spiced fish cake wrapped in banana leaves originally from Terengganu. Oh mang, sedap gile please. *drools*

It's not easy to find it in my area tho. And the fact that I'm not adventurous enough to venture to other PaRams but the one opposite my office and the one near my sister's place (heck, I've never even been to other PaRams but those two) because I just don't have the time to go and urghhh the crowd, the crazy traffic, the afternoon rain - I'd rather settle for small PaRam or home cooked food thankyouverymuch.

Out of the only two PaRams I frequent, only one stall found selling sata so far. 5 teeny weeny sata for the price of RM3.50. Damn capitalist right? And the taste is not as good as the original ones from its motherland pun.. Sigh.

Having said that, I just can't wait for the trip to Perhentian. I'm gonna be reunited with two of my favorite things in the whole of Terengganu - the sata and the Perhentian island. My third time to Perhentian, I should try the other beautiful islands around there already, but oh well. The things I do for love.. ;)

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i think if.. it's love..

..And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever.. :)

Happy 8!

11.12.09

i think envy is a mean fat obnoxious lil' monster like you

We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are. Whatever you say, or think of others reflect back to yourself. Karma, baby.

Or maybe that's just your insecurity in resonance with that voice at the back of your head.

We only hear what we wanna hear, innit?*sniggers* You will learn, young lady..

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